Musings: I am what I am !

(One more attempt and a poetic disposition from thinking hearts!)

I wish I am passion driven and reason reined
But I am desire driven and fear reined

I wish I am intelligence ingrained and happiness destined
But I am ignorance ingrained and ignominy destined

I wish I am lucid in thinking and have freedom in living.
But I am shallow in thinking and sarcastic about living

I wish my living is in loving and my loving is in giving
But I am living in my earning and my earning is in competing

I wish I am quick in learning and transparent in sharing
But I am transparent to learning and selfishly taking

I wish I am logical in analyzing and rational in thinking
But I am logical in lying and rational in plotting

I wish I am building on my hopes and realizing my dreams.
But I am building on dreams as I am realigning my hopes

I wish I am liberal in views and conservative in actions
But I am conservative if and when I think but mostly act without thinking

I wish I am living with my heart and eating for my stomach
But I am eating for my buds and shooting from my hips

I wish summer in my eyes and winter in my heart
But I have winter in my eyes and summer in my head

I wish spring in my feat and autumn to my defeats
But I have spring to my problems and autumn to my hopes

I wish I am omnipotent else least powerful enough to change the world
But I find even my breathing isn’t effortless and my body itself is a burden

I wish I am humble in my character and polite in my behavior
But I tumble at every step as yield to my temptations

I wish I am comparatively kind and naturally energetic
But I am compassionate yet cruel and congenially lazy.

I wish I am sincere in my prayers and prayed for my sincerity
But I find as I play in a casino, most sincere my prayers are

What if I don’t have clarity in speech?
What if, I am not universal in reach?
What if I am not versatile in subjects?
What if I am not detached from the objects?
What if my breathing isn’t easy?
What if I am always looking dizzy?
What if I am congenially arrogant?
What if I am incorrigibly ignorant?

But beware,

Never attempt to change me
Nor bother to correct me
For I am like a muddy water, best cleared left undisturbed
For I believe lessons are not given but taken
For if god wanted me otherwise, he would have created me otherwise
For I know my reputation is what you perceive about me
For I know my honor is what i realize about myself
For I know my wishes are ideal and "what I am" are natural
For I know the gap between ideal and natural
For I am sure on my death bed i would realize that am a 'lil closer to ideal!

For I know my wishes are ideal and "what I am" are natural
For I know the gap between ideal and natural
For I am sure on my death bed i would realize that am a 'lil closer to ideal!

Love me for what I am
Hate me for what I am
Scold me for what I am
Kick me for what I am
But never leave me for what I am
Never leave me for what I am!
'coz I am what I am!
I am what Iam !

Happy reading!